My daughter said it. Said that this week has been like two weeks in one. It seems most of this year there have been unexpected shifts happening in our family. Major job changes and decisions and uncertainty. Questions unanswered and health on edge and in the midst I decide to define serenity. The word seems foreign to me and doesn’t fit well in my bones. Calm is better. I understand calm and I search for calm in between phone calls and emails.
The ancient text speaks of a time for tearing down and a time for building up, a time for mourning and a time for laughing but what if all those times come in one week? The uncertainty and laughter and questions and new opportunities all in one week. This week. I try. Try to look calm. To be calm.
The days have nearly blurred one into the other as we packed up my mother-in-laws place. We left home thinking we may be traveling to lay her to rest. Our first visits were grim and troubled with thoughts of unknowing but our last visit with her just 5 days later brought hope. Her mind clear and the anxiety that had gripped her is somewhat relaxed. There is a light that glimmers in what started so bleak.
A brief stop at our daughters to attend our son-in-law’s White Coat Ceremony has brought such an opposite view. An energetic 5-year old running to us to be swept up in our weary arms. Her smiles as big as the sun in our hearts and as bright. But even their home has been hit with the unexpected change and questions still unanswered. I am worn. Physically tired for my bed and weary of soul.
Even in these tired bones I know I am being renewed and restored. My mother-in-law’s kind words and calm voice yesterday brought hope. Hope brings strength.
Our daughter talks about her questions and the lack of answers but shows no fear. Her voice is certain in her steps and she knows Who is in control. The One who holds the answers.
We believe with our words and now must believe with our hearts and practice too. We are together in this. Our family in God’s family and He cares. He calms.
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
Isiah 43 the Message