Day 14 – Ordinary beauty of marriage

She’s in her mid-40’s and her doctors are already using the phrase, “as we get older….” It’s jarring in the way the first time someone calls you ma’am makes you look around to see who they’re talking to.

The year I hit 50 (there was no turning fifty, I ran flat into it like a car hits a wall!) all the doctors, started their sentences with “At your age“.

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Eye Dr.: “at your age we like to do this test”

Dentist – “at your age the teeth can start shifting..”

Primary Care – “at your age I’d like you to have….”

Maybe the first hint should have been I now have more than one doctor.

 

 

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If I want to find company for a pity party, I only need to take out old photos of a youthful me where I defied gravity in every way and nary a line crossed my face. Makeup was rarely more than a swipe of mascara and brush of shadow.  And hair? Wash and wear, right? A little blow dryer, maybe a friend trims the ends once or twice a year. Maybe.

This week I’m thinking back on the years. Thirty-eight years to be precise. Thirty-eight years of marriage which is always beauty and struggle and plenty and want. It is learning and failing and trying and giving in and giving up and putting up until you realize what you need most is to look up.

If we look past the surface of these words, past the bruised feelings they may conjure up, if we look past ourselves we can see beauty waiting to be exposed. Beauty in the years of keeping and loving.

I stand by my words that I’m the lucky one. I’ve asked God why he’s given this man to me, one I am often undeserving of.  One who always sees my best when I’m the first to call out the worst. One who is calm when I’m fretting over being late, being lost, or not being at all.

He’s not perfect. But he’s perfect for me.

The years are showing on both of us. They are showing a resilient joy, a quiet and ordinary beauty in the rhythm of our life together.

A lot is made of the passage in Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman. Too little is said about husbands but these verses describe the one God has given me.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. Ephesians 5:25-28 the Message

More about Debby Hudson

Where do you find grace? Inside the church walls? Around the dinner table with your family? For years, grace was not much more than the prayer we said before meals or a biblical concept. Then I met a group of men who had, as we say, reached bottom. They welcomed me to Graceland. They showing me grace can be found in the darkest of places. I'm still searching and learning. I hope you'll want to come along.

13 thoughts on “Day 14 – Ordinary beauty of marriage

  1. patrickhawthorne01

    At 52 y/o, this year I went for my annual eye check up. My eye sight was getting worse and I was thinking that my contacts prescription was going to have to be raised. I was pleasantly surprised when the eye doc said…”Hmmm, your eyes are improving. I’m going to have to reduce the strength.” Thanks Lord, I really do appreciate the healing.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Gee, Patrick, I hate to break it to you but that’s most likely temporary. The same happened to me a couple of years ago and it’s natural, at least for near-sighted, as the eye shape changes. We can enjoy all things while they last with every reason to be thankful. Even for a good contact lens prescription! 😉

      Reply

  2. Kristi Woods

    Sounds as though you have a keeper on your hands. Such sweet, sweet words. Love it! Visiting today via #coffeeforyourheart.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Thanks Kristin. I think I linked the wrong post but not exactly wrong, just not the one I thought I linked. I have a feeling this was the one God intended to be linked. Thanks for your kind words.

      Reply

  3. Linda Stoll

    Well … wait til you hit 60, Debby! No other decade’s arrival has hit me like this. I guess I think of grandma and her orthopedic shoes, false teeth, rocking chair, etc.

    Not this girl! I refuse to go there right now! There’s a whole lot of living yet to do …

    Loved this post!

    ;-}

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      It’s looming large, Linda, just 2 years away. The only thing I’m hitting is resistance into what I envision “old” to be. I’m with you! Glad I found your blog too. Thanks for leaving your kind words here.

      Reply

  4. Gabriele

    I’m at 41 years and aren’t we both so lucky!

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Yes, I believe we are Gabriele!

      Reply

  5. Annie Rim

    Love this post! And that you’ve found the perfect-for-you partner to do life with. I love your story & perspective. You combine wisdom of years with discovery of the new. Happy anniversary!

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Thank you Annie. I feel certain folks that know both of us know what a great man he is. And God knew the man I needed to be my rock.

      Reply

  6. iwillbloom

    Beautiful post, Debby…..just beautiful.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Thanks Helen. Some things are easier to write than say 😉

      Reply

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