The day before is the day I start recalling her birth. The announcement from my aunt that I’d never make it to my due date that led the nurse to say something to the doctor that changed the whole course of things.
In the days before home pregnancy tests and sonograms to determine gender, a wise mother of four took one look at my first time pregnant belly and knew what the doctors would have missed. It’s a story I love remembering and retelling.
How, after that encounter with my aunt, I had a dream the baby would come and we had nothing but a blanket to swaddle her in-between us in our bed. That dream led Henry to tell his parents we better get the crib. Soon.
One month and two days earlier than predicted our little Heather Lee made us mama and daddy and she came home to a crib with sheets bought two days before. She came home in clothes bought by her aunt because her birth came before the baby shower was scheduled.
You could call her a surprise, I guess, but isn’t all of motherhood a surprise? What did we know? What were we thinking that we could parent this tiny little darling that cried at the most inconvenient times and would have nothing to do with pacifiers and preferred being cradled in my arms rather than in her crib?
They seemed such hard times then, the sleepless nights the uncomfortable bits that will get no further description 😉
I reckon it’s best to do these things when we’re young and think we have it figured out. When we’ve studied up on the latest and have the newest. When we have just a tad more energy than our infant and still enough left to run after the toddlers. Yes, I’m glad we did this when we were too young to think clearly. When we were innocent enough to think, let’s do this again!
Truth be told, it’s been my best times. The first few months of motherhood were trying. Time hasn’t colored that rosier. But there’s never been a moment of regret. We’ve shared our challenges and tears and a mama will also have concerns and fret over her young, even when they’re not so young. But regrets? None at all.
The good times are precious memories and the trying times bring tears, prayers, hugs, more tears and more prayers. Children teach us about God’s unconditional love. They show us how to believe in miracles, to never give up hope and how much we need God’s grace each day.
Somehow, God looks at us at our very worst, and calls us His own.
This girl is a mama herself now and a good one. She’s shed her tears and more will come. But she’ll have no regrets. None at all.