Learning to accept help is learning to be humble

help

Big are small, heavy or light, we carry the load alone. We are proud Do-It-Yourself-ers. No help needed, thanks.

People have been quick to offer a hand. They see my hands full and the call comes out, “Need some help?” No, I’ve got it, was my typical reply. I was the boss. I could carry my load too. That’s what I thought I was showing. I thought I was letting them know I wasn’t too big, too proud, too full of myself that I couldn’t carry a few things or move something.

I grew up with strong women and other than a bug squashing here and there and gutting fish, we could do things ourselves. There’s not much harder than giving birth, so trust me, I’ve got this.

Until the day my son saw me decline the offer of help to carry things that were clearly awkward to manage. Mom, you need to let them help. They want to.

I’ve learned to accept help with the physical things. I acknowledge my limitations as I recognize the need to allow others to help.

But I still resist asking for help with the deeper things. The things below the surface that others don’t see. The battle with depression and mood swings. The negative self talk. The trap of comparison. Those things are the heavier burdens to bear.

The Beatles had it right when they sang:

Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody

I need the help of Jesus. I need to recognize he often chooses the most unlikely to be my help.

Humility comes in the bended knee, the silent prayers and the acceptance of help.

“When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to yourself. You’ve seen them in action, I’m sure—‘playactors’ I call them—treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that’s all they get. When you help someone out, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.” Matthew 6:2-4 the Message

Linking up with Five-Minute Friday host, Kate Motaung, as she gives the word and we go. Join us!

More about Debby Hudson

Where do you find grace? Inside the church walls? Around the dinner table with your family? For years, grace was not much more than the prayer we said before meals or a biblical concept. Then I met a group of men who had, as we say, reached bottom. They welcomed me to Graceland. They showing me grace can be found in the darkest of places. I'm still searching and learning. I hope you'll want to come along.

12 thoughts on “Learning to accept help is learning to be humble

  1. JViola79

    Debbie,
    This here is the line I needed to read this morning > “Humility comes in the bended knee, the silent prayers and the acceptance of help.” May we ask for His help in our times of need, assured that He is our ever present help. Blessings!

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      It seems easier to write about than do some days, JViola79. But we press on because he’s always there.

      Reply

  2. Christy Richardson

    ouch! I am sometimes so pig-headed I won’t ask for help when I need it either. And the thing is, others are so willing to help. They WANT to help and I don’t allow them the blessing of helping.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      That’s been me, Christy. So glad our son helped me understand. I still have a stubborn streak for the hard things but I’m learning.

      Reply

  3. Tara Ulrich

    Yep THIS: “Humility comes in the bended knee, the silent prayers and the acceptance of help.” Blessings friend!

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Thanks Tara….with a little help from our friends! 😉

      Reply

  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    It too me a long time to learn that accepting help when it’s offered – even when I don’t really need it – can be a turning point for someone else’s day, or even life, because they’ve been given the chance to be involved in something outside their own head.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/07/your-dying-spouse-184-circle-of-help-fmf.html

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Exactly right, Andrew. You’re a fast learner!

      Reply

  5. Shauna Blaak

    The beauty in all of this is that when we finally ALLOW others to help us, everyone is a winner. We get the pleasure of being helped, and they get the pleasure of helping. Your son was right, people WANT to help, and it gives them joy to do so!
    Haha, so I guess the next time someone asks if we need help, we should actually say, “Sure! Share the joy!” 🙂

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Yes, Shauna, he definitely was right as are you, it’s a win-win.

      Reply

  6. Linda Stoll

    Thanks for stirring the pot on this one, Debby. Lots of truth about humility and pride in your very apt words …

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Me, stir the pot? You’re just getting to know me, Linda 😉

      Reply

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