When we are poured out and empty

Her eyes rimmed red as tears began to form. He sat in silence, empty of feeling having poured them out. Again.

It was quiet in Jenny’s office as we sat with our feelings, our pain. Another fatal overdose. Another life lost. Another friend, son, brother, gone. He was 28.

These times when we’ve poured ourselves out, when we feel empty of caring, these are the times we question: Is this where I should be?

I know we follow a Savior who emptied himself out but we are not him. We need a constant filling. So we gather in an office or take a walk in the bright sunshine. We pull close to another who understands this pain and we ask together if we can handle death’s sting.

Maybe this is the cross Jesus said we needed to carry.

We look for endless blessings and joy, the kind that doesn’t hurt, the kind that keeps us bubbling over. Somehow we have this notion that this is the life of following Jesus. It’s not. It may be a glimpse of heaven but on earth it’s fleeting.

That wasn’t the end of sorrow for me this week. More would come, Family would face unexpected life threatening illness and a mom would wonder how much more. It would continue to feel like a week of trials and questions we’re afraid to say out loud.

It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming. Resurrection Sunday is coming and we will proclaim:

He is risen.
HE IS RISEN INDEED

But He poured Himself out to fill a vessel brand new;
    a servant in form
    and a man indeed.
The very likeness of humanity,
He humbled Himself,
    obedient to death—
    a merciless death on the cross!
So God raised Him up to the highest place
    and gave Him the name above all.

Philippians 2:7-9 VOICE

More about Debby Hudson

Where do you find grace? Inside the church walls? Around the dinner table with your family? For years, grace was not much more than the prayer we said before meals or a biblical concept. Then I met a group of men who had, as we say, reached bottom. They welcomed me to Graceland. They showing me grace can be found in the darkest of places. I'm still searching and learning. I hope you'll want to come along.

19 thoughts on “When we are poured out and empty

  1. Patti Miinch

    Eloquent and very thought-provoking — I found myself pausing to contemplate your words. And when I was finished reading, I went back and read again . . . and again. How right you are that we all too often mistakenly think following Jesus = a life overfilled with joy, that we have questions “we’re afraid” to put voice to. (#15 at FMF)

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Thank you for your kind words Patti. Glad to ‘meet’ you in this shared space of words.

      Reply

  2. Wendy Morris

    Keep writing, my friend. I’m grateful for your honest, visual reflections on life. Happy Easter!

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Thank you Wendy. Your encouragement means much to me. xx

      Reply

  3. Annie Rim

    I’m reminded of the ways in my own life that I don’t recognize the empty tomb. That somehow I get stuck in black Saturday rather than living for Resurrection Sunday. I am praying for your community, Debby and am thankful that you & Henry are there.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Sometimes I don’t realize how much I’m exposed until I read the comments. Yours is especially tender to me, Annie. Thank you.

      Reply

  4. Christy

    We carry the cross of love. And love empties itself for others. But Jesus has come to refill us again.

    Reply

  5. Christy

    Well… I wasn’t finished. The blogging world had a mind of it’s own, hahaha. That quote. The love we empty for others is so often painful, but Jesus. That’s where we grow isn’t it?

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Yes, Christy, that is indeed where we grow. Thank you for saying that because sometimes, a lot of times, I forget. xx

      Reply

  6. Tara L Ulrich

    It’s so hard to watch those we care for hurting etc. But Sunday is indeed coming! I’m in the 43 spot this week.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      I hope your Easter celebration was joyful, Tara. We celebrated it all! Thank you for your caring words.

      Reply

  7. Lesley

    Sorry for the pain and sorrow you have had to deal with this week, Debby. Praying that you know God’s comfort and hope as you celebrate this Easter!

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Lesley, it was with great joy I lead the congregation in proclaiming He is Risen! yesterday morning. There is room in our hearts for loss and gain, sorrow and hope, but only through the grace of Jesus. Thank you for your prayers.

      Reply

  8. judikruis

    It is good to process with others would are impacted too. Prayers through your grieving and for healing for family. That peace and wisdom will be generously poured out to all.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Judi, I had the opportunity to speak to the ‘house’ including many staff about the risk of caring. Yes, sweet friend, processing this together definitely helps me. Some hit harder and this was one of those. But God is still good. All the time.

      Reply

  9. blaaklistwriters

    Yes, caring is costly. Such is the cross that we bear. It’s beautiful… and painful… but we have a powerful promise that we don’t have to do this on our own. “The power that raised Christ Jesus from the grave dwells inside our mortal body.” That means that we can keep going even in our weakness. Praying strength and courage for you, my friend.
    Shauna (Visiting from #66 this week)

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      I know you join me in this risky business Shauna. Our weakness is always transformed in his strength. Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. xx

      Reply

  10. Stephanie

    Debby, such great thoughts to ponder. I have wrestled with recognizing my limits. You are so right that Christ emptied himself and we are not him. However, scripture also reminds us that Jesus took time out from the crowds to spend time in communion with his father. That means some people who sought him, were left unattended. Maybe they were blessed in other ways? We don’t know. Yet, even Jesus needed to refill. So if he did, than certainly so much more us. By Him. The endless source of bread and water. Sorry for your week. Thank you for sharing the redemption found in it. #42 in the linkup.

    Reply

    1. Debby Hudson

      Yes, Stephanie, Jesus is the only one who can fill our emptiness. Thanks for stopping by and contributing your thoughts. Much appreciated.

      Reply

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