The gifts? The ones I’ve been so poor at counting? Today, yes, this is just right for today: ugly beautiful.
Ann Voskamp must have looked behind my veneer and seen all the ugly beautiful that is happening. I can only call it that because I can not leave ugly as ugly. I have hope and believe God’s promise and he gives grace and I am his so yes, the ugly? There is beauty.
I told someone today I had good news: Adam is in jail. I never thought those words could be good words. That the ugliness of jail and the thought of this not-yet-thirty-year-old who has been to our house for Christmas and sat in my office eating Dove chocolate while he told me about the next operation on his foot, this boy we cared for is in jail. And we are relieved.
Addiction is ugly.
Knowing he was slipping back into that dark place is uglier than jail. Jail means he’s alive. Jail means he’s safe. It is the absolute definition of ugly beautiful for me and I am thankful for this.
For the ugly that is addiction, thank you God, for you have changed it to the beauty of redemption in so many.
For the ugly that is losing my mother-in-law to earthly death, thank God, for you have taken away her suffering and replaced it with the beauty of eternal life with you.
These aren’t the appearances of ugly but the pain of ugly. The kind that hurt our hearts and bring us to our knees before you, and there, there you give us the beauty of your grace and mercy.
Thank you that in your hands, all things are made beautiful.