Our common bond of faith became our foundation

It was the faith we held in common that had me say yes when he asked me out. That, and his undeniable good looks. As I look back, that may have held an edge for my 19-year-old self.

Henry

We’d both grown up as pastor’s kids in the same denomination. We knew the life, the traditions, we believed.

This was enough common ground to explore a future. It was enough to say yes when he proposed and this faith has kept me saying yes to him.

The blush of youth hid our differences and made everything seem possible. The energy spent on babies and schedules and schools and church and more and more of life kept us clinging to this faith that was the one constant in our growing family.

You blink your eyes and they are grown and have their own families and the spaces between exposes our differences. The ones that have been there all along but we were too busy to notice.

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Henry Deb on rock3

How he can let his car get to fumes before filling the tank and how I’m eyeing the gauge when it says 70 miles left.

How he’s asleep seconds after his head hits the pillow, any pillow, and I can’t seem to find the off switch for my mind.

He’s easy going and mild-mannered (except when watching football) and I’m not.

Some days these difference stand up and shout right at me and I marvel that somehow, it works.

Could it be this faith we share, the common beliefs we hold, the traditions we’ve clung to, the same God we trust, is this what holds and sustains us?

Yes, a definite yes. But it’s also learning that our individual differences are more important than us being the same. Some days it’s hard. The days I just want to him talk and he’s exhausted from answering questions and making decisions, yeah, those days aren’t my favorite. But I am learning to make space for that because these differences are what make us who we are. They are what make us laugh with each other. They’re what make us understand grace and our need to give it to each other as God gives it to us.

It seems we are each at our best when we mesh our common bonds with our differences. My hopes are that our country will learn this too.

17 Comments

  1. Annie Rim said:

    Debby, I’ve loved your posts this week. They are so healing and wise. Yes, we need to find our differences and to look for the good in people. Because it’s there…

    November 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Annie Rim said:

      Wait…. Differences?! I meant commonalities. 😉 Oh, man. Too early!!

      November 11, 2016
      Reply
      • Debby Hudson said:

        haha, I knew what you meant and didn’t even notice…thanks Annie xo

        November 11, 2016
        Reply
  2. Christy said:

    What a sweet post Debby! Love your pictures!

    November 11, 2016
    Reply
  3. Gabriele said:

    Wonderful analogy of a marriage and a people. I pray that we will lean on that which we have in common.

    November 11, 2016
    Reply
  4. hopeful50 said:

    Love this – I went with my hubs also with “common” – it is our anniversary and honestly? We have little in common. LOL

    November 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Debby Hudson said:

      So we’re proof opposites attract, Susan? 😉

      November 11, 2016
      Reply
  5. I loved this: “But I am learning to make space for that because these differences are what make us who we are. They are what make us laugh with each other.”
    It’s so true – no one can make me laugh harder (or cringe more) than that man! I think God has an incredible sense of humour and wires us to be attracted to the exact opposite who is guaranteed to drive us crazy AND cause us to grow.
    p.s. I LOVED your pics! (such a cute couple)

    November 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Debby Hudson said:

      Shauna, I once heard someone say if we were the same one of us wouldn’t be needed. That stuck with me. So glad you laugh together. It’s the best cure for most things.

      November 11, 2016
      Reply
  6. I loved learning about you anf your hubby. Fun post! I’m in the 49 spot this week.

    November 12, 2016
    Reply
    • Debby Hudson said:

      Thanks Tara. After 38 years of marriage, I’m STILL learning about him 😉

      November 13, 2016
      Reply
  7. Lux G. said:

    I’m hoping that with you. What a beautiful story.

    November 12, 2016
    Reply
    • Debby Hudson said:

      I think when we hope together we’re all better. Thanks Lux.

      November 13, 2016
      Reply
  8. Cindy said:

    This is beautiful, Debby! Thanks for your wonderful, inspirational posts

    November 13, 2016
    Reply
    • Debby Hudson said:

      Thanks Cindy. Your friendship is so very appreciated.

      November 13, 2016
      Reply

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