It was the faith we held in common that had me say yes when he asked me out. That, and his undeniable good looks. As I look back, that may have held an edge for my 19-year-old self.
We’d both grown up as pastor’s kids in the same denomination. We knew the life, the traditions, we believed.
This was enough common ground to explore a future. It was enough to say yes when he proposed and this faith has kept me saying yes to him.
The blush of youth hid our differences and made everything seem possible. The energy spent on babies and schedules and schools and church and more and more of life kept us clinging to this faith that was the one constant in our growing family.
You blink your eyes and they are grown and have their own families and the spaces between exposes our differences. The ones that have been there all along but we were too busy to notice.
How he can let his car get to fumes before filling the tank and how I’m eyeing the gauge when it says 70 miles left.
How he’s asleep seconds after his head hits the pillow, any pillow, and I can’t seem to find the off switch for my mind.
He’s easy going and mild-mannered (except when watching football) and I’m not.
Some days these difference stand up and shout right at me and I marvel that somehow, it works.
Could it be this faith we share, the common beliefs we hold, the traditions we’ve clung to, the same God we trust, is this what holds and sustains us?
Yes, a definite yes. But it’s also learning that our individual differences are more important than us being the same. Some days it’s hard. The days I just want to him talk and he’s exhausted from answering questions and making decisions, yeah, those days aren’t my favorite. But I am learning to make space for that because these differences are what make us who we are. They are what make us laugh with each other. They’re what make us understand grace and our need to give it to each other as God gives it to us.
It seems we are each at our best when we mesh our common bonds with our differences. My hopes are that our country will learn this too.