Giving myself grace to linger

I tell myself it will wait. To linger a bit longer here where there is no office and the sunshine streams bright through the windows. The piped-in music is soft enough and generic enough to accompany and not conflict. A quiet tumble of voices nearby are speaking life and activity. Some are hurrying through and others lingering like me. I wonder what they are avoiding by the extra moments spent sipping their coffee. Or maybe they are, also like me, enjoying the presence of others while pretending to be invisible.

It took years before I could sit alone in a cafe. Before I wanted to be in this space alone. Saturdays I share the space and it’s good in the right ways just as good as this time in personal quiet is good. So different but so good.

The songs playing now are instrumental versions of pop songs. I may have to leave now. I’m not liking that my mind is putting words to this and I want to change the playlist (control freak that I am).

I have nothing to offer today. No metaphor, no spiritual lesson or truth for you. Just a knowing that I can give myself grace to put aside the laundry and errands and phone messages and emails and Sunday preparation to linger a bit longer in this place that is coming more to life. To know there is room for the lingering. To rest my soul in its quiet and say it is good.

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