My momentary attack of brave (and hoping it stays)
I had a sudden attack of brave last week. The day I turned…six oh. (That’s much easier to type.) It’s left me now, that brave person who decided to face real life and not pretend. The me that wondered how will I do this in a way that conquers my fear, the me that had an ounce of determination to just do it!
Today, not so much. Or, realizing I might need to read this every day or until I believe it and live it.
The year I turned 30 there was a banner hung across a building of the small private school our children attended. It said “Debby….turnin’ 30”. I can’t imagine anyone dropping their kids off could have missed it.
When I returned home, there was a sign stuck firmly in our front yard announcing 30. One of my best friends was the school secretary and our pastor’s wife put the sign in our yard. I miss that time of life and those dear friends.
Mama told me 60 was the hardest for her. I’m not sure why since she never slowed down until Alzheimer’s forced her retirement. Her choice was to keep going, keep showing up and she did.
That’s what I need to remember: it’s a choice. How am I going to live this next portion?
I know that I want to be less whiney and more proactive.
I want to see possibilities and not limitations.
I want to do yoga.
I want to make comfort less a priority (yet I have so little determination in that area.)
I want to always be learning.
I want to lean more into God’s mystery and grace so I might always make space for grace.
I also know want doesn’t make things happen. Discipline, not desire, determines our destination.
What’s your destination? How have you chosen to live your life?
I need to add to my list. Maybe even write it in pen on paper, somewhere I can readily see and continually add to. I also want to remember it’s okay to take some things off the list. Or not add them.
I don’t want to over commit or have unrealistic expectations of myself or others.
I want to keep creating, to keep writing and snapping photos and loving.
I want to enter this decade brave, owning every bit of the years God has given me and looking forward to what he wants to do in me.
Now it’s your turn? As Mary Oliver says:
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?